quietAtheist » Humour

Today is Blasphemy Day 2011

Slugsie — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 09:28:16 +0000

(Can’t think of anything more appropriate than my 2009 post on this subject)

As you may, or may not, be aware, today is International Blasphemy Day, and to that end, here is my little bit of Blasphemy… (edit: and dreadful comma abuse, sorry)

I deny the existence of Agdistis or Angdistis
I deny the existence of Ah Puch
I deny the existence of Ahura Mazda
I deny the existence of Alberich
I deny the existence of Allah
I deny the existence of Amaterasu
I deny the existence of An
I deny the existence of Anansi
I deny the existence of Anat
I deny the existence of Andvari
I deny the existence of Anshar
I deny the existence of Anu
I deny the existence of Aphrodite
I deny the existence of Apollo
I deny the existence of Apsu
I deny the existence of Ares
I deny the existence of Artemis
I deny the existence of Asclepius
I deny the existence of Athena
I deny the existence of Athirat
I deny the existence of Athtart
I deny the existence of Atlas
I deny the existence of Baal
I deny the existence of Ba Xian
I deny the existence of Bacchus
I deny the existence of Balder
I deny the existence of Bast
I deny the existence of Bellona
I deny the existence of Bergelmir
I deny the existence of Bes
I deny the existence of Bixia Yuanjin
I deny the existence of Bragi
I deny the existence of Brahma
I deny the existence of Brigit
I deny the existence of Camaxtli
I deny the existence of Ceres
I deny the existence of Ceridwen
I deny the existence of Cernunnos
I deny the existence of Chac
I deny the existence of Chalchiuhtlicue
I deny the existence of Charun
I deny the existence of Chemosh
I deny the existence of Cheng-huang
I deny the existence of Cybele
I deny the existence of Dagon
I deny the existence of Damkina (Dumkina)
I deny the existence of Davlin
I deny the existence of Dawn
I deny the existence of Demeter
I deny the existence of Diana
I deny the existence of Di Cang
I deny the existence of Dionysus
I deny the existence of Ea
I deny the existence of El
I deny the existence of Enki
I deny the existence of Enlil
I deny the existence of Eos
I deny the existence of Epona
I deny the existence of Ereskigal
I deny the existence of Farbauti
I deny the existence of Fenrir
I deny the existence of Forseti
I deny the existence of Freya
I deny the existence of Freyr
I deny the existence of Frigg
I deny the existence of Gaia
I deny the existence of Ganesha
I deny the existence of Ganga
I deny the existence of Garuda
I deny the existence of Gauri
I deny the existence of Geb
I deny the existence of Geong Si
I deny the existence of Hades
I deny the existence of Hanuman
I deny the existence of Hathor
I deny the existence of Hecate (Hekate)
I deny the existence of Helios
I deny the existence of Heng-o (Chang-o)
I deny the existence of Hephaestus
I deny the existence of Hera
I deny the existence of Hermes
I deny the existence of Hestia
I deny the existence of Hod
I deny the existence of Hoderi
I deny the existence of Hoori
I deny the existence of Horus
I deny the existence of Hotei
I deny the existence of Huitzilopochtli
I deny the existence of Hsi-Wang-Mu
I deny the existence of Hygeia
I deny the existence of Inanna
I deny the existence of Inti
I deny the existence of Iris
I deny the existence of Ishtar
I deny the existence of Isis
I deny the existence of Ixtab
I deny the existence of Izanaki
I deny the existence of Izanami
I deny the existence of Jesus
I deny the existence of Juno
I deny the existence of Jupiter
I deny the existence of Juturna
I deny the existence of Kagutsuchi
I deny the existence of Kartikeya
I deny the existence of Khepri
I deny the existence of Ki
I deny the existence of Kingu
I deny the existence of Kinich Ahau
I deny the existence of Kishar
I deny the existence of Krishna
I deny the existence of Kukulcan
I deny the existence of Lakshmi
I deny the existence of Liza
I deny the existence of Loki
I deny the existence of Lugh
I deny the existence of Luna
I deny the existence of Magna Mater
I deny the existence of Maia
I deny the existence of Marduk
I deny the existence of Mars
I deny the existence of Medb
I deny the existence of Mercury
I deny the existence of Mimir
I deny the existence of Minerva
I deny the existence of Mithras
I deny the existence of Morrigan
I deny the existence of Mot
I deny the existence of Mummu
I deny the existence of Muses
I deny the existence of Nammu
I deny the existence of Nanna
I deny the existence of Nanna (Norse)
I deny the existence of Nanse
I deny the existence of Neith
I deny the existence of Nemesis
I deny the existence of Nephthys
I deny the existence of Neptune
I deny the existence of Nergal
I deny the existence of Ninazu
I deny the existence of Ninhurzag
I deny the existence of Nintu
I deny the existence of Ninurta
I deny the existence of Njord
I deny the existence of Nut
I deny the existence of Odin
I deny the existence of Ohkuninushi
I deny the existence of Ohyamatsumi
I deny the existence of Orgelmir
I deny the existence of Osiris
I deny the existence of Ostara
I deny the existence of Pan
I deny the existence of Parvati
I deny the existence of Phaethon
I deny the existence of Phoebe
I deny the existence of Phoebus Apollo
I deny the existence of Pilumnus
I deny the existence of Poseidon
I deny the existence of Quetzalcoatl
I deny the existence of Rama
I deny the existence of Re
I deny the existence of Rhea
I deny the existence of Sabazius
I deny the existence of Sarasvati
I deny the existence of Selene
I deny the existence of Shiva
I deny the existence of Seshat
I deny the existence of Seti (Set)
I deny the existence of Shamash
I deny the existence of Shapsu
I deny the existence of Shen Yi
I deny the existence of Shiva
I deny the existence of Shu
I deny the existence of Si-Wang-Mu
I deny the existence of Sin
I deny the existence of Sirona
I deny the existence of Sol
I deny the existence of Surya
I deny the existence of Susanoh
I deny the existence of Tawaret
I deny the existence of Tefnut
I deny the existence of Tezcatlipoca
I deny the existence of Thanatos
I deny the existence of Thor
I deny the existence of Thoth
I deny the existence of Tiamat
I deny the existence of Tlaloc
I deny the existence of Tonatiuh
I deny the existence of Toyo-Uke-Bime
I deny the existence of Tyche
I deny the existence of Tyr
I deny the existence of Utu
I deny the existence of Uzume
I deny the existence of Venus
I deny the existence of Vesta
I deny the existence of Vishnu
I deny the existence of Volturnus
I deny the existence of Vulcan
I deny the existence of Xipe
I deny the existence of Xi Wang-mu
I deny the existence of Xochipilli
I deny the existence of Xochiquetzal
I deny the existence of Yam
I deny the existence of Yarikh
I deny the existence of Yhwh
I deny the existence of Ymir
I deny the existence of Yu-huang
I deny the existence of Yum Kimil
I deny the existence of Zeus

I deny the existence of any god or gods that I’ve missed out on that list.

I consider anyone that follows any of them to be at best deluded, and at worst psychotic.

I hold the religions that have sprouted up around any and all gods in contempt.

I consider those that try to force their religion on others are morally bankrupt.

I consider those that deny the evidence of science in favour of faith as idiots.

I consider any laws that attempt to promote any religion, religious belief, or any religious leaders above any other or at the expense of any other as being unjust.

There, that should cover most of it.

Just to add a note of fairness…

I respect the rights of the individual to freedom of thought, and freedom of expression.

Arrrr, Talk Like a Pirate Day, err, Arrrr!

Slugsie — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 08:00:50 +0000

OK me ship mates, to day is talk like a pirate day arrr.

So have at it you scurvy dogs!

Arrrrrrrrr

His Popiness

Slugsie — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 09:38:52 +0000

So, the Pope is arriving in Scotland today which seems to be getting in the news a bit. Even as far as my local radio station Rock FM. The morning DJs made the comment (which is an old joke I admit) about the Pope-mobile having bullet proof glass, and how much faith that shows the Pope has in his creator.

It made me smile.

I was happy that the DJs felt they could treat the matter with such irreverence that they could joke about it. It made me happy to think that there might be some religious nit-wit getting his knickers all in a twist because a joke was made against his Popiness. It made me happy that this could happen on one of the highest rated independent radio stations in Britain.

Go Britain.

Go home Ratzinger.

Today is International Blasphemy Day

Slugsie — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 23:01:12 +0000

As you may, or may not, be aware, today is International Blasphemy Day, and to that end, here is my little bit of Blasphemy… (edit: and dreadful comma abuse, sorry)

I deny the existence of any god or gods that I’ve missed out on that list.

I consider anyone that follows any of them to be at best deluded, and at worst psychotic.

I hold the religions that have sprouted up around any and all gods in contempt.

I consider those that try to force their religion on others are morally bankrupt.

I consider those that deny the evidence of science in favour of faith as idiots.

I consider any laws that attempt to promote any religion, religious belief, or any religious leaders above any other or at the expense of any other as being unjust.

There, that should cover most of it.

Just to add a note of fairness…

I respect the rights of the individual to freedom of thought, and freedom of expression.

Devil Worshipping Atheist?

Slugsie — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:44:43 +0000

I’ve been taking a bit of time recently flipping through the posts on FSTDT. If you’ve not been before then strap on your safety harness and take a visit. FSTDT is a repository of some of the most inane ramblings of Fundamentalists (of all sorts, not just religious) gleaned from various forums and groups around the Internet.

Whilst reading through many of the posts, I find I just want to grab the Fundie by the collar, and slap them around the face with my Clue Stick™. It can be hard to comprehend how these people manage to walk and breathe at the same time, never mind get on the Internet, join a forum, and post.

One common refrain from a Fundie is that us Atheists are nothing but Satan lovers and Devil worshippers! That’s just hilarious. I do understand that from a theist (especially a Christian) point of view that that is a huge insult, but really it shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that if I don’t believe in God, then I also don’t believe in the Devil, and so I certainly won’t be worshipping him any time soon. Furthermore, in describing an Atheist as a Devil worshipper, it just reveals the author to be a clueless moron, and allows you to pretty much write-off any other statements they might make as nothing more than worthless drivel.

There are also so many other names that are thrown around and used as if they might be the worst thing that you could call someone. The more common ones are:

Homosexual
Fascist
Communist
Liberal
Soulless

As insults, they’re completely lame. They don’t even make sense. I’ve even seen one poster who in the space of a single paragraph managed to describe all atheists as Communists, Liberals, and Fascists!

Morons!

Dangers of Azeusism

Slugsie — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:05:29 +0000

Azeusism, or not believing in Zeus, has been the cause of almost every single major atrocity of the past several thousand years.

Mass murder. Genocide. Ethnic cleansing. Wars. Bad behavior in general.

Is Atheism a Religion?

Slugsie — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:06:05 +0000

It’s an old question, and on the surface would seem easy to answer. As an Atheist, to me Atheism isn’t a religion.

But I also don’t think it is quite that simple.

An oft quoted point of the theistic is that

Atheism is a religion, the Supreme Court said so.

There are of course a couple of problems with that:

Not all of us are Americans (I know, it’s a surprise to a certain section of the population of this planet), and so the dictates of your judicial system are of little relevance to us.
You committing the logical fallacy of Appeal to Authority.
If you are a theistic American, do you hold all court decisions to the same level of authority? Do you now accept that Intelligent Design is indeed religious in nature?

To me, the answer to the question isn’t a simple yes or no. It’s a bit more nuanced than that. Exactly what is the question being asked? What point is trying to be made? What information are you actually after?

Lets look at the definition of Religion. The Oxford English Dictionary (the authoritative source for British English) defines Religion thus:

1 the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods. 2 a particular system of faith and worship. 3 a pursuit or interest followed with devotion.

So, using definitions 1 or 2, defining Atheism as religion can be likened to defining bald as a hair colour, and not collecting stamps as a hobby. I.e. it isn’t. However, I can concede that using the third definition an argument could be made that would classify Atheism as at least maybe religious in nature. It’s not an argument that I would agree with, but I can accept the argument can be made.

There is also another way of looking at Religion that I would argue Atheism does fall into, and in fact is often useful. If you define Religion as:

Any worldview that deals with a God or Gods

Atheism is, by definition, dealing with a worldview about Gods. As such, it falls within this definition. I also think that’s it’s definition that the US Supreme Court decisions are pointing at (but I am neither American, nor a lawyer, so what do I know?). It’s the definition that, again for our American cousins, allows Atheists to be Atheist with the same freedom under the First Amendment as Christians to be Christian etc.

So, ask me if I’m religious, and I’ll tell you “No, I’m not”.

Ask me what religion I am, and I’ll tell you “I’m Atheist”.

What’s so great about 72 virgins anyway?

Slugsie — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 14:08:21 +0000

So, Islam extremists are prepared to die for their beliefs because they think they’re going to get rewarded with 72 virgins when they get to heaven. But think about it, what’s so great about 72 virgins?

Let’s face it:

They don’t know what they’re doing
They won’t be virgins for very long anyway

Surely a better reward would be a couple of porn stars, lots of viagra, a lifetime supply of massage oil, and some rubber gloves?

Dang it, looks like I’m converting

Slugsie — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 10:15:45 +0000

Gods message to creation:

For those who don’t know, it’s a reference to the last book in Douglas Adams Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy trilogy (book 5!)

And now for something completely different

Slugsie — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:43:34 +0000

Purely in the interests of science, the quietAtheist is going to attempt to eat this for lunch:

Tonys Pot Noodle Doner Kebab

First impressions…

Well, it smells like Doner Kebab, and the chilli sauce is bright red and hot. Just need to wait a little bit for the hot water to ‘cook’ the noodles.

Now, the eating…

OK, I wasn’t expecting some gourmet delight obviously, but this takes bland to a whole new level. If it wasn’t for the chilli sauce it would have no flavour at all – either that or the sauce has completely numbed my tongue. I think I’m going to have to eat the plastic tub just to add a bit of variation. This is by far the least flavoursome Pot Noodle ever – which is saying something. I doubt this will appeal even to drunks who have just arrived home from the pub, they’d be much better off with the real thing.

I’ve no idea who Tony is, but if this is the quality of his food then I can only presume that he was incredibly desperate and so the idea of selling out to Pot Noodle seemed like a good idea.

Final thoughts…

I would have had a better meal at McD’s.

Remember, I do this so you don’t have to.

*** Update ***

Oh my Gawd, I’m suffering some major wind problems. Phew!

After the Rapture

Slugsie — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 22:23:49 +0000

Well, it made me giggle anyway.